HELP!
He is overly manic and very touchy from the get go. He comes in and orders a beer and then tells me the story of how he was knocked unconscious and mugged last week. 12 staples in his head and bruises all over his chest. He orders another beer and then asks if I'd like a refill. Here's the problem...I don't drink anymore. And, I know this makes people uncomfortable and feel they shouldn't either. So, I usually "fake drink" by ordering a faux beer. This place didn't have any, so the bartender recommended a coke in a fancy beer mug when I first arrived there. Well, he snatches it out of my hand and holds it to the light screaming "What is this? Fancy wine? Is this a beer? What's it called?" I'm about to purge "it's a coke!" when he hands it back. Well, I'm freaked out and know I need to down the evidence in case a second interrogation is coming. Which I'm doing when he yelps "lets smoke!"
We quickly slam the drinks and head outside for him to smoke. Abruptly, he decides he needs money from an ATM when he notices a sushi place. He all of the sudden needs sushi and needs it now. I keep telling him I've already eaten and don't want any. Resistance is futile and I'm drug into the tiny restaurant.
An absolute downward spiral begins at this point with him complaining about the following. 1.) I don't eat what he wants to eat, 2.) I'm like the rest of his failed dates and he'll never do this site again, 3.) he admits he was worried about my looks because my one and only photo was blurry, 4.) he flirted with the two blondes at the table next to us while I was in the bathroom and then 5.) we argued about aliens invading the Earth. Specifically could they even get here and if they did would they show themselves. The answer is yes and probably not.
I'm ready to run, when he says he'll walk me home. WTF? After convincing him I can make it on my own, he then insists that I allow him to reshoot my mug for a better online dating picture. Which he does. But, somehow in the middle of his impromptu photo shoot he runs over and starts making out with me. I'm not into PDA to begin with, but this is straight up insult to injury. I untangle his tongue from mine and then untangle my evening from his by heading home.
This is the moment I realized I may never find anyone ever again. What started as a mildly humorous date quickly turned into a deep rooted fear, not of being alone, but of constantly meeting people who are absolutely wrong for me. Luckily, when I got home The Housewives of Atlanta was on and I instantly felt better about my life. DELETE!
