Empty

Always Meet Inside

It all starts with a premature breakup. Premature because we haven't even met yet. After 10 emails, he drops those dreaded words...lets just be friends. "You know, because we work in the same industry and all, but flirting is ok" he writes. I wonder if meaningless sex is ok too?

The bar is empty. Literally. I walk in and not a soul is there. It's a bit awkward being the only one there, so I relocate to a table in the back corner. Then, here comes my date. He sits and orders a beer and shot at the bar. He glances my way and there is no recognition. I wait...hmmm, must not be him. He downs the beer, he throws back his shot and then jumps up and leaves without ever glancing my way again. Shit. Maybe it was my date?!

I run over to the bartender. They specialize in these social blunders and he'll know what to do. We decide to text him. Yes, WE, he's part of the date now. Empty writes back and says he was outside waiting for me for 35 minutes. He wonders where I was. Where I was...I was at the bar. I show the bartender a pic for a positive ID. The bartender says "that's him, alright". Bastard!

The lesson learned you ask? If you get stood up by your date, the bartender will be a foster date. And, he picked up my tab too.