Itty Bitty in Pink

Phones Kill Dates..and Pink Vests

I watch my date ride up in his pink vest and lock up his bike across the street. As he casually strolls across the lane to me, I quickly notice he is actually getting shorter. OMG. By the time he reaches me, he has shrunk at least 5 inches. Then it starts to rain. Will he become full size again when wet I wonder?

At the pub, he starts by asking my what I lied about in my profile. Lied about? I think mine is pretty straight forward. He then says "you're getting divorced, you said you were single." Oh, that. Ahem..hehe. "Well, we are separated, live apart, and filing. It's a time thing, but is in the works." I asked him "and what could you have lied about?" He seems immediately irritated and barks back "I think we both know it was my height." Yes, we did indeed both know that.

Then it happened. Our conversation took a turn towards the weather and the torrential rain storms headed our way. He pulled out his iphone with a handy weather application showing the storms progression to NY. I informed him we would be spared due to the Coriolis Effect (aka trade winds). He suddenly stands up so we are eye to eye and then pulls me in for a kiss. WTF! My Atmospheric Science class vocabulary from over a decade ago apparently does it for him. Ewww.

Then, embarrassed that I just made out with a pink vested smurf in public, I grab my iphone for companionship and support. He takes this as a sign the date is over and jumps up to leave. Stunned yet again by the sudden change in his mood, I decide I'm late for my make believe dinner and need to leave immediately.

I learned a very important dating cue that evening. If you reach for the phone, it could be interpreted that you'd like the date to be over. This can be a valuable tool. I give the gift "quick closure" to you.

Delete.