Mother May I, Take Two



I told a little white lie on the last entry...I did go on a date with "Mother May I". He wasn't a mandatory delete by bad picture, but it was an omen.

First, the facts. It's my first date in a year. He was 15 years my senior. We met on a sunny, cold Sunday at a pub around 4pm. The date consisted of him slipping in the ages of everyone he mentioned. It was similar to reading a celebrity rag. He highlighted his cool, hip friends and then would follow up with "and she is 34 and her other friend was 36." Look, when you are 51 you are 51. Telling your date you missed a decade (what does that mean anyway?) does not entitle you to shaving off ten years. No way. You earned them, now deal with it. Besides, with that logic, your friends should all be in their 40s dude.  That's the math.

Secondly, why do men talk about their ex-girlfriends?  Highlighting poorly executed relationships that end with you yelling for her to open her front door to explain why she no longer takes your call is LAME. It's sad. It's not dating banter. These send up red flags like missiles during the "Shock and Awe" campaign.  She left you because you are scary...so, don't be scary.

One last thing for the guys, drop the "I always date wild girls and then when I want to settle down, they don't" bullshit. If you are attracted to crazy, you'll date crazy, and you'll always be on her doorstep screaming and scaring off potential girlfriends with the after story. Just some free advice.

Mother May I


I get an email through match.com from a older gentleman asking if I'd be willing to consider him for a date. He is closer to my stepmother's age than mine, so I request another pair of eyes to check out his profile. As I click through photos my friend (second pair of eyes)  is pushing me towards going on the date. Click, yet another close up of him - head tilted to the right. Click, same photo cropped in. Click, photo divulging women on his arm. Then, my friend shrieks with delight that he even included a photo of his mother. Click on thumbnail, that's not his mother...that's him.

Delete.